October 03, 2005~~3:30 p.m.
You really need to know where all the vents lead...

Most of the time, I am deluded into believing that we have this marvelous relationship with Elle because we are so much cooler and more understanding than my parents were when I was a teenager. Occasionally, however, by no fault of my own, she chooses to talk on the phone in her room while I happen to be in the downstairs bathroom, where I cannot help but hear every word.

Today, the part I heard went somewhat like this...

Yea, so then I had to listen to my parents give me a lecture about not blowing-off my friends... I mean, come ON...

I could have stayed and listened longer, but I'm not so much into eavesdropping unless I think someone is going to put him/herself in harm's way. Clearly, this was not the case this time; she was merely asserting her teen need to make us into clucking idiots.

I should get used to it, come to terms, let it roll off my back. But it's hard. And do you know why it's so hard??? Because I'm so much cooler than a lot of the moms she could be stuck with and she should be more grateful.

Alas, at least I'm still close enough to those years to know that the only ones allowed to make us out as nincompoops are our actual offspring. The minute their friends even attempt to climb on the bandwagon, everything changes.

I can remember as clearly as if it were yesterday, moaning and groaning about what a bitch my mom was, but the instant Melissa would agree with me I'd jump all over her.... What the fu**?! Don't you EVER say that about my mom!

Strange creatures, teenage girls. One minute they're all "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... look at THIS!" like they're still three years old and in the next breath their eyes are rolled so far back in their heads you're wondering if you should get them medical attention.

Y'know, if I ever *do* call for a medic, I think I'll see if they can surgically remove that phone from her head while they're here.

~Alice