December 01, 2007~~5:06 p.m.
Weird phone moment...

Yesterday I was on the phone with one of my closest friends. He is someone from whom I have virtually no secrets; I'd tell him anything, trust him completely. In spite of this closeness and the fact that we've discussed very intimate details of both our lives and that, clearly, we care a lot about each other, we're both married and expressions of "affection" are outside the scope of our friendship.

It's a little weird to me because I'm fairly affectionate with my friends and don't generally hesitate to tell them that I love them. Anyway, I found out when I was first getting to know E that such terms of endearment would be very uncomfortable for him, so, silly as it seemed to me, I just went along with it.

So anyway, five-ish weeks ago, down 50 pounds, somewhat stalled, and knowing I needed to step-up the exercise to get to my ultimate fitness goals, I entered a qualifying contest on my radio statio to have the opportunity to work with a personal trainer for six weeks, attempting to lose the greatest percentage of bodyfat and win the grand prize, a trip to Hawaii and a year of membership to the health club sponsoring the contest.

Well, I've been busting my ass effort-wise. I've done an hour of cardio 6 days a week, followed by weight training every-other-day. I've done things that are so completely out of character for me (like getting up at 6:00 AM on Thanksgiving to be at the gym by 7 for a two hour workout) that I am astounded. My trainer is awesome, really inspiring, and she makes me want to give it my all. At this point, it's not even about winning the contest, it's about taking full advantage of this fabulous opportunity to get myself headed in the right direction.

So yesterday while I was on the phone with E, the conversation wrapped up and we were saying goodbye when he paused. "Alice..." he said, "I'm really proud you and how hard you're working."

There was an awkward silence and then I think I said thank you or something. I don't know; it was weird. It just didn't seem like the sort of thing he would say to me and I'm not sure I reacted well.

A while after I got off the phone, I felt bad. Obviously, it had not been an easy or "normal" thing for him to say which is why it wasn't placed, seamlessly, in the middle of our conversation. But it was important enough for him to make a point of it.

I sent an email, saying that I appreciated his support and explaining that I didn't feel like I'd reacted well to his comment and that I was sorry if I made things more awkward.

It's nice to have the people you care about give you kudos for your efforts... especially if it's not the people from whom you'd most expect it. If I were more eloquent, I'd be prepared for times like that instead of facing them like such a clod.

~Alice