April 25, 2005~~4:36 p.m.
Not in the mood.

It seems I don't do anything right.

When he got home tonight, I was mowing the lawn. It had been my job forEVER until nearly four years ago when I had knee surgery and he took it over during my recovery period. It's not exactly the sort of thing you beg to have back, so I just let it be. Anyway, it was a nice day today and I got home first so I thought, "Hey, here's something I can do outdoors..."

So when he got home, I was mowing the lawn. And of course, I was doing it wrong.

Everything is like that with him these days. Thanks, but... you suck.

And all I can think is Why didn't I just have sex with you on the flippin' weekend so it would be overwith already? Damn procrastination.

I gave up faking orgasms years ago on account of how entirely counter-productive the practice is, offering positive reinforcement for unsatisfactory performance. But faking interest, it seems, is just a part of marriage sometimes.

I'm just so not up for it right now; I wish bedtime would never come tonight.

~Alice