2001-06-06~~10:14 a.m.
Someone's knockin' at the door...

Yesterday afternoon I was surfing diaryland, checking out links to some of the people my favorites read, and chatting with a friend via ICQ. This particular friend happens to be male and while many of our conversations revolve around talking about our families or our jobs or our real lives in general, yesterday’s conversation was flirtier. All fantasy, mind you. Neither of us would really ever consider abandoning our families to run off to some tropical paradise where we could sip umbrella drinks all day and watch the sun set into the ocean every night. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t fun to imagine, on some level, that we could do just that.

So anyway, my brain is on a pure, white sand beach when the doorbell rings. I stood up, dusted off the sand, and went to answer the door. When I opened it who should I find but two very cute young Mormon men on their mission. They smiled their very friendly smiles at me as I politely thanked them [yes, thanked them... I’m telling you, they were the cutest Mormon boys who have ever graced my doorstep] for stopping by and told them that we are very comfortable with our religion.

As I was about to close the door, the really hot one said, “That is wonderful. Tell me about what Jesus Christ has done for you in your life...”

And I just stood there... thinking, “Fuck. I’m heavily engaged in some online fantasy construction and I really don’t want to think about Jesus Christ right now.”

Graciously, I told them that I didn’t have time to talk with them, but wished them a nice afternoon. They smiled their very cute little smiles as they walked away.

I had a good friend in high school who grew up in a Mormon family. She had older sisters who had both met other men they decided to marry while their boyfriends were away on their missions. I hope that doesn’t happen to the nice young men who were at my door yesterday, though I am sure they would be scooped right back up if it did.

I will give them some serious credit for their commitment to their religion. If the Catholic Church told me that I had to go knock on doors and try to spread the word of God to people who had no interest in talking to me I’m pretty sure I could find a way to live without religion in my life. That is just a lot to ask of a person.

And I don’t know how they match up boys and missions, but I’m thinking that it would be a whole lot more fun to go someplace exotic than it would to get stuck with Yolo County, California. Maybe it’s like Harry Potter. You climb up on a big stool and they put the sorting hat on your head. You hope for someplace like Belize or the French countryside. You cross your fingers and hope and pray. And then you get Yolo County. What a bummer. Especially if the next guy gets someplace good.

-Alice