May 21, 2003~~8:31 p.m.
Bent out of shape...

Man. I love spring. And finally, FINALLY, it's really sprung. Beautiful weather everyday, no rain looming in the five-day forecast. Just absoulte sunny perfection.

But there's this tree. And when I get home from work at 3:30ish I can only get about 20 minutes of sun lying straight in the middle of my hammock. After that I have to wiggle around to avoid the shade as it attempts to creep across my haven.

The tree and I have issues. Actually, I'm sure it is a perfectly fine tree, it's where it's planted with which I have issues. First of all, it's going to be a BIG tree. When you plant a (going to be) BIG tree, you leave room for it to grow... in YOUR OWN yard. If I'd wanted a BIG tree in my yard, I would have planted a BIG tree in my yard.

So these people, behind and to the side of us, chose to plant this (going to be) BIG tree right in the north east corner of their yard. The only shade it can possibly be providing in their yard would be to a person standing either (a)directly under it, precisely at noon, or (b)in the twelve inches of space they left between the (going to be) BIG tree and my back fence.

Besides that, I already HAD a tree in that corner of my yard. A small, crepe myrtle, tree, planted not for shade, but for color. I don't want shade in that part of my yard; that is where I hammock... in the SUN.

It gets very windy here sometimes and early in the spring a large branch was ripped from the (going to be) BIG tree. It gave me ideas. It is nearly impossible, especially when I'm all contorted to avoid the shady patches, not to think about tree-homicide.

Clearly, the problem becomes larger and larger as the tree does the same. It's not ONLY the shade, but its proximity to the fence and the fact that I paid a lot of money to have a flagstone garden wall/flower bed put in in that corner of my yard (before the (going to be) BIG tree).

My options seem very limited. I don't see any way we're going to talk these people into moving or removing the tree voluntarily. For one thing, I'm not entirely sure that they speak English. Besides that, they really have no reason to want to comply with my wishes. It's entirely within their rights to plant a tree on their own property and if, down the line, they end up liable for damage to the fence or my wall... I just don't see anyone worrying that far out. (Especially since no one seems to hold on to houses very long anymore. I think that house has had at least two owners in the three years we've been here.)

If I make a point of not liking the tree and then commit some hostile act, it will be entirely too obvious that it was me. If I keep my mouth shut I can (a)cross my fingers and hope for further natural disaster to aid my cause, or (b)figure out a way to make it look like a natural disaster came to my aid.

Meanwhile, I'll be the one with the great tan and the messed up spine...

~Alice