2001-07-09~~12:22 p.m.
I'm back...

I am home. It’s a good place, home is. But I can’t see the ocean from my back door. My town has no one-lane bridges. No mountains shaped like sleeping giants. No tropical sun. You can’t rent a kayak on every corner. Or any corner for that matter. I suppose I could order a Pina Colada in a local bar, but I doubt it would be the same without the fresh local pineapple perched on the rim of the glass. And I know for a fact that there isn’t a single restaurant in this small agricultural town where I can order fresh Ono.

My vacation was wonderful. Even if it didn’t turn out the way we planned it... or the way I fantasized about it.

I want to share all the details. I just feel so smacked by reality now that I’m home that it’s difficult to focus on them.

I really hoped that I would have found a full-time teaching position for the fall before I left on the trip. I felt that would have allowed me to relax completely and really enjoy the indulgences of vacation without worrying about money at all. My husband pleaded with me on our way out of town to let go of all that for the week and just not even think about finding a position until we got back.

I did amazingly well. Casting things aside is not something I do well. I tend to fixate on things. Think and rethink them. Over think them. But somehow, I put the job thing out of my head until the very end of the trip when I started making a mental plan of action for when we returned home.

Today I started working the plan. That is why I’m having a hard time getting my brain back into vacation mode to share all the juicy details. I’m waiting on calls back from personnel people. I don’t “wait” well.

Hopefully, when I hear from them and can formulate my next step in “the plan” I will be able to compose a nice entry about my trip.

For now, I’ll sit and stress. Maybe get out my glowing letters of recommendation and my transcripts and some letters from my students to remind me of who I am and why I followed this calling in life.

-Alice