2001-09-07~~11:57 a.m.
Leaving in 15 minutes...

We're leaving in fifteen minutes. I wish they'd scheduled the damn surgery for this morning so I'd be done with the whole thing by now. Anyway, I have to arrive at admitting at 1:00.

I went in to work this morning. It was easier than being home worrying. The people I work with are so great. Very supportive. It was good to be with them today.

My sub plans are meticulous. Not unlike the detailed instructions I typed out for my mom the very first time Elle stayed with her overnight. I think those were four pages. The sub plans are only two, but I used a smaller font than I used for mom. I also stuck post-it notes on EVERYTHING.

God forbid, I actually have to call a sub. S/he is going to think I am an obsessive nut. Oh well. I think over-planning is better than under-planning.

Elle rode her bike to school today. She was in a hurry... running late, as usual. She just yelled goodbye from downstairs. No hug. No kiss. Please God, don't let anything bad happen to me today when my little girl didn't even get a decent goodbye. I asked Shoe for a hug and a kiss before I let him out of the car at school. I reminded him of my surgery today. "Oh... okay..." He complied.

Things are so good in my life now. I have great kids. A fantastic job. Wonderful friends. A terrific husband. I do miss my mom a lot, but for the most part, I am happy. I am probably more happy with the big picture than I have been in many, many years.

Please, please, please.... let this all turn out okay.

~Alice