2001-05-10~~7:19 p.m.
The asshole coach...

I had to leave my daughter's game early tonight. I feel bad. Makes me feel like a crummy parent.

It wasn't because of my flirty husband. If anything, he seemed to be paying more attention to me than usual tonight.

It was because I can't stand the coach of the team they were playing. The guy is a total ass. I hate him. Sportsmanship is not part of the game he is teaching his girls to play. The guy runs those girls on the bases like every game is the final game of the World Series. Y'know, I wouldn't mind so much, but some of these girls are only six. They aren't going to want to play again next year. I hate adults who ruin things for kids.

That's part of why I left. I didn't think that my anger was very supportive of my kid. (Who doesn't like to play this team anyway because they are so overly aggressive.) I was also worried that I was getting very close to saying something that could end up getting T in trouble with the league.

As we were walking past the other team's bleachers my son asked me where we were going. I told him that we were going home because I couldn't stand to listen to the other team's coach anymore. He just said, "Oh." He's very mellow... just like his dad.

I know that the parents heard me though. I said it more for their benefit anyway.

Being a parent is hard. Harder than I ever knew it would be. And I'm not even close to the teens yet! I walk a fine line between speaking my mind and knowing when to hold my tongue. I want my kids to know that it's a good thing to stand up for what you believe in. I also want them to know that sometimes the heat of the moment is not the best time for that.

When she gets home I'll tell her why I left. I'll apologize. I hate to miss out on things that happen in her life. I'll tell her that too. I think she'll understand.... but not as well as she will twenty years from now when she has to sit in the stands and watch her own daughter play.

-Alice